Sunday, August 2, 2009

Balancing Act

The answer: trust God. It always come down to the same thing. I just need to ask God, go with what gives me peace (the kind beyond our understanding), and trust that God will protect me in that. God keeps telling me this over and over. I know the answer, but I keep needing to be reminded.
I have been trying to balance guarding my heart and letting it feel. It is a delicate balance; at least it seems this way to me. When I ask how do I do this, God gives me this answer. He wants to be in control, and tells me that if I follow him, he will protect me. I was reading my Bible earlier this week, and a verse stuck out to me on this. "He is a shield to those whose walk is blameless, for he guards the course of the just and protects the way of his faithful ones." Proverbs 2:?? This verse was so appropriate to the question on my mind.
There are a few different areas where I have been challenged with this. One of them is with my foster child. I want her to know that I care about her, but I have a hard time with that. She says, "don't touch me" whenever we get near each other. Should I give her a hug or leave her be? I mostly leave her be because I don't want her to pull farther away. I want to say, "Good night, love you" so she doesn't question if I care, but would that be awkward?
It's specific things like these I keep asking God, and he keeps reminding me to trust him. I feel it's good that I am coming to him though, that comforts me with the verse conditioning on blameless walks and faithful ones. So I end where I began, knowing the answer, but continually asking the question. So now I need to seek that peace, and follow God - whether my mind completely understands or not.

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